I have purposely not done any thankful posts this year because I was feeling like I didn't have much to be thankful for since Mom passed...then I started to think about what being thankful actually means.
pleased and relieved.
"they were thankful that the war was finally over"
I realized that I have so much to be thankful for:
Well you get the idea. Then I added Mom. I am so very thankful for my Mom and the lessons she taught through example. She demonstrated how to be strong even when we didn't want to be. She showed how to be loving and giving when there wasn't a lot to give. She taught independence through her actions. She taught us how to live life to the fullest, so that is what I need to get back to doing...living life to the fullest.
I guess I could start with Merry Belated Christmas!
We moved into our house on October 31st. Called 4 different gas companies until we found the correct one. Gas could not get turned on until Tuesday, so we had to adapt and overcome. Everything is gas, water heater, cooking, heat...electric skillet, griddle, microwave, and coffee maker that is all we really need to get started. Well portable heaters were key as well.
The weekend was spent emptying the storage units and unpacking. It was a little like Christmas.
Everyone was starting to get a cold including G'ma so I passed out cold medicine to all.
We finally closed on the house November 14th. By this time, G'ma was still fighting off her cold/flu and getting her days and nights a bit confused. Fortunately, we had a doctor's appointment for her on the 18th.
G'ma ended up in the ER to get a blood transfusion, she was very anemic. By the end of the week we discovered that Mom had Multiple Myeloma, a form of bone cancer and she was stage 3. Mom was suffering from Hypercalciumia which was making her thought processed really off. She was not herself at all. We started Chemo and she endured 4 days of aggressive chemo to help get her on her feet. Mom spent Thanksgiving in the hospital but was being sent to a rehab hospital to gain some strength back.
My sister came down on the 4th so I could catch a bit of a break, three weeks of running back and forth to the hospital as many as 3-4 times a day was starting to wear on me. The night that my sister arrived mom was very sick at the rehab hospital. We visited on Friday and mom was struggling but expected to feel better the next day.
On Saturday she was not better and the rehab hospital ended up sending mom back to the hospital. This is where things went from bad to worse. Saturday Mom asked for her brother to come and see her and the doctors were not even sure what was happening. By Sunday things were much, much worse and the doctors confirmed that we were losing mom. My sister stayed at the hospital with mom Saturday and Sunday.
We managed to arrange things so that my Uncle and Brother could both get here on Monday but not until the evening...they were too late.
Monday, December 8th, 2014 at 12:29am, my Mom passed away. My sister was with her and I was walking through the hospital. Mom went very peacefully, but she is still gone.
Now here it is almost 3 weeks later and I am still a mess. I am not sure what to do next. I know that my mom would tell me that life doesn't stop just because someone passed away, Hell, she proved that after the passing of my other sister 2 1/2 years ago.
I have wonderful memories of my mom that I will cherish forever and I know she is living inside of us all...I just miss the crap out of her. These last few years with her living with us was great. We enjoyed shopping together, sharing crazy Facebook stuff, frustrations. She knew about some of the craziness in my life that only others living this type of life would understand. She befriended my friends and loved them all.
Mom told me during those last weeks that she had no regrets in life and neither should I. She was very proud of all of her children and grandchildren. She lived a good live and did many things. She was the most amazing person and I will miss her daily.
Needless to say, I think I have perfected Moving for Idiots.
Cross country moving is VERY expensive. $1600 more than we could have anticipated.
I could completely understand if we had been shopping before hand, but we barely bought enough snacks to start the trip. The cost of gas was ridiculous especially with a U-Haul and our own vehicle.
I could lay blame on a ton of different things or the organization that said they would be helping with $1600 worth of the U-Haul expense, but I won't. Take for full responsibility for piss poor planning on my part. I didn't research gas prices as well as I should have nor did I look into the best route to travel. I didn't plan enough food for the trip with 5 people and 4 dogs.
I am in debt up to my eyeballs and really screwed up, but I will work through this with many lessons learned. I have had to ask for help from family and friends and I never thought I would have to do that. I have had to skimp on feeding the kids decent meals for the last week, but they do have some food choices.
With all that said and out there...we will survive this and it could be much worse. There are lessons I have learned this month:
Budget, Budget, Budget some More
Plan for food
Plan the best route possible
Plan extra for food
Set aside money
I would probably be in a mess still but just maybe not that big of a mess.