Tuesday, February 7, 2012

PTSD and Our Life this Week

We have seen a different side to PTSD recently, self-centeredness. I am not sure why it has happened but it reminds me of when the kids were really little. It is not all the time but when it happens, I just want to hide.

Last week the doctor added a something to help him sleep and upped the med that blocks the nightmares. Thankfully, DH is sleeping better but it still seems to be taking some time for him to get to sleep. It also takes a couple of hours for him to wake up enough to actually function. After that we are pretty ok until 8 pm.

I guess any sleep is better than no sleep, if only I could relax enough to sleep now.

As a caregiver there is the chance I could develop secondary PTSD and I honestly think I hit that wall over the weekend. Not only was I stressed about my classes and homework, then they hit me with a new lack of financial aid for the next 2 years but hubby had been asleep for 15 hours. Yes this was after the new meds, and yes he said I was being unreasonable to expect him to be up when he felt like sleeping. He was even right about that...but I was frustrated and tired of fighting with the kids on my own.

Some days I just wish we could go back to the way things were before his deployment, I just want my hubby back.

Other days I just want to find a happy medium with no issues.

Wish me luck.