Sunday, April 21, 2013

Bad Days

Bad days happen to us all but I have noticed the last week has been tough. I think so much has to do with everything leading up to this sentencing on Thursday.

There is one part of me that could careless what they give him for killing my sister because it will not change a thing in any of our lives. The other part of me is so not very Christian and wants someone to do the same thing to him but he has to know it is coming....anticipation can be the worst form of torture.

I chose to not go to NM for this hearing, hard to get away from the family without careful planning and everything. Of course there is the one part that feels guilty when I talk to my mother and she wishes I was coming down. I would feel even worse leaving the family right now.

I have been reading a great book but it was talking about an autopsy and how they will arrange everything for the family to see their loved one again. That choice was taken from us by a drunk driver. Here is was 11:30 last night, reading a crying as silently as possible so that my husband doesn't hear me and get even more upset with life.

Makes me realize how lonely this life can be and I am so frustrated with being alone sometimes. On the flip side though I decided I am going to go join Curves again. I enjoyed the workouts before especially since exercise is just so boring and the switching every 30 seconds is nice for me...no opportunity to get bored and I will get out of the house ALONE at least 3 days a week.

It is only 6 pm and I am ready to go to bed and cry my eyes out...but I don't want to upset anyone.