This Crazy Thing We Call Life

Life has been so crazy lately and I really need to improve my skills.

We have all survived the Winter, if you want to call what we in the Pacific NorthWest called Winter. We watched The Olympic Games from Sochi.
DH and I every night went up to our room to veg out watching the games. We were slightly disappointed in the fact that we never saw any of the medal ceremonies.

Then we rolled right into Girl Scout Cookie Sales. Really don't like these 2 weeks every year, fortunately it is only 2 weeks and not longer. On the plus side DD sold more than 400 boxes of cookies. Very proud of her for reaching the goal she set.

I completed 21 CU's for School this term and the next term starts 5/1/2014. I was going to try to squeeze in one more class but time is my enemy right now.

On March 12th I had a second interview with the Elizabeth Dole Foundation to become the Washington State Caregiver Fellow. At the end of the interview I was invited to become a Fellow and I needed to confirm I would be able to travel to Washington DC in April, hence time is the enemy for school.

My youngest nephew turned 5 on March 17th. Hard to believe he is growing up so fast.

The VA finally determined that my Dear Husband could not live successfully with out the Aid and Attendance of another, this might be our last battle with the VA. I hope!

On the 24th of March the Oldest Child (my step son technically) arrived at home. More chaos with happy children and happy dogs.

So many blessings with all 3 of the kids together now. The Oldest can go to the store, can drive dad around, and loves spending time with the kids. So glad he is here.

A bunch of other things are going on and I will be adding pages to my blog them as well.

Next week, April 7th - 11th I will be traveling to and in Washington DC. I have been officially invited to the White House by Mrs. Obama and Dr. Biden. Scared and excited all at the same time.

Surviving the New Year

Here it is the 12th of January and needless to say we have been plugging right along.

The kids have made it through the first week back to school from the Holidays.

Documenting our lives has started with my new Project Life Album for 2014.

I got a new planner from Erin Condren, and I am in love with it. I will be sharing pictures and ideas.

After 10 long years we have finally found a doctor at the VA willing to listen to what we are saying in regards to DH knee injury. On December 30th we went to Seattle VAMC for an MRI and that night the Dr. called us to confirm what we knew. WOW!! it is like winning something HUGE.

She put in a consult for the orthopedic specialist to take at look, and we will be going back to Seattle VAMC in February.

We have been told that we can go back and file a formal complaint with the ARMY naming the SGT that would not follow the doctors instructions when DH got injured, but I am not sure it is actually worth the effort. On the other hand I would love to see him in a dark alley, zip up my big a$$ purse and beat him with it...again, not sure it is worth the effort.

New Year...Fresh Start

Welcome to 2014

A New Year and a Fresh Start and boy do I need one. I didn't feel like I had anything worth blogging about, but I was wrong.

I looked back through 2013 and realized there was A LOT going on that I could have shared and not all good or bad.

I have a high schooler and a middle schooler this year. Making life interesting to say the least.

Our Dear Friends moved to Salt Lake City making visits more challenging.

We launched David's House on FB on November 11th. Working on fund raising right now.

Survived the first whole year without Debbie.

DH's oldest son came out to visit for 2 very short weeks in September. He wants to move out here to be with us. Kids are loving the idea and DH is waiting not so patiently.

We had a nice Holiday Season and are eager to move on to goals and adventures of the new year.

On December 30th, after 10 years of battling with the Army et al regarding DH's knee injury we actually got confirmation that there is a problem, and it is NOT arthritis. I feel like we won a major battle.

Update on Life

Things have been really crazy here.

DH had an appointment with a neuro-psychologist and were were told that any TBI he MAY have had in 2004 has healed so these lasting affects are due to PTSD.

I drove like crazy for the last 10 days or so...drove my brother to the Sea-Tac Airport so he could fly to NM for the sentencing hearing. Then two days later I drove from Lacey to Longview to take DD to meet up with her friends for the weekend...then pick on on Sunday at the same place. Monday had to run to the bank late in the day. Tuesday back to Sea-Tac to pick up my brother. Wednesday was grocery shopping. Then Friday to the VA for DH to get his Vpap machine so he can breathe at night.

We have had a wonderful weekend with 80° weather and sunshine...don't ever let people tell you it only rains in the Pacific Northwest, they have no clue what they are talking about.

The kids have state testing Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday of this next week.

Thankfully the kids are feeling better since getting sicky last week.

Blogging for Stress Relief

We have had a crazy week and I really have no one I can vent to but the Whole Wide World.

• Monday - 
• Finished my letter to the judge and emailed those over to the Crime Victim Advocate
• Helped my mom get her letter straightened back out
• Got yelled at by my sister (turns out it was a misunderstanding but you know how that can work out)
• Helped my brother with his letter
• Tuesday - 
• VA Day From Hell
• 90 minutes appointment with a neuro-psychologist telling me that every one of my husband TBI symptoms is caused by something else BECAUSE TBI's heal in a short amount of time and there are no lasting, long term effects (The new VA party line)
• DH has suffered from headaches since 2004 when injured overseas BUT they believe the headaches for 9 years are due to SLEEP APNEA which is only something we have dealt with for about 18 months
• Balance issues are caused by the medications he is on regardless of the fact that the balance has been an issue for these same 9 years and the medications have only been for 2 years now
• Cognitive/Memory issues are due to medications as well regardless of how long he has been having these problems
• Every symptom he has is caused by something else and not the event in question
• Everyone of these symptoms could be resolved with Cognitive Processing Therapy or some kind of PTSD Treatment or Group Therapy
• I would love to get these 90 minutes back but I know that is not possible

• Wednesday - 
• Went to Lowes
• We figured out that since we will probably need to stay in this house another year we need some type of temporary fencing for the backyard for privacy
• We picked out some nice bamboo privacy screens we are going to put up over the next month so we can be out back more without the neighbors driving us bonkers
• Thursday - 
• Lazy Day
• Never left the house but I managed to go to the High School Orientation for DS online.
• Made a plan to move the office/classroom into the dining room and the dining room into the office area. More room. 
• Picked out the new desks at Ikea
• Friday - 
• Social Security
• Dropped off paperwork for reconsideration
• Wal-mart
• Dog Treats and a wander through the store
• State Surplus Store
• A box of books for $1 got some great books for DD
• District Office
• Paperwork for next year for the kiddos is finished

Not much else to tell but I am already working on my list of To Do for next week which includes A LOT of driving and hopefully a visit with my Dearest Friend, not to mention the sentencing of a killer.

Update on the Chaos

The normal level of chaos in our house seems to have diminished.
We have finished with Girl Scout Cookie Sales and are now heading in to enCamporee time. I have completed my second term at WGU and have a bit of time off until the new term begins. The kids have been working hard in school and are really looking forward to Spring Break even if it is only a break from routine.

We had another VA appointment cancelled on us the day of the appointment. That drives me nuts and I would change providers but DH is comfortable with this provider so it is best to not rock the boat. We had our quarterly visit from the visiting nurse on Wednesday, went really well but my 'burden/stress level' was more than an 8 so they wanted to recommend counseling. I don't need counseling at this point and I explained after the fact that we are just coming down from a chaotic couple of weeks and that things will settle down. If they don't settle down I will ask for the referral.

While I am not super religious, hit you over the head with a Bible, or anything like that, I read the Bible and pray regularly...I have an unspoken prayer request, God knows what is up but just say a quick one for me and that will work.

Darling Daughter decided she was going to slack off on some of her school work so yesterday we enjoyed some Saturday school...about 4 hours total. Amazing what she can accomplish when she puts forth the effort. She makes me a little nuts with her ditzy routine she likes to pull on me. She has not figured out we know better.

Dear Son is really showing some progress in school but he has been slacking off a bit as well...must be some Spring Fever. The best part with him though was watching The Hobbit after he read the book and him telling us how he remembered that part of the book. He was so animated. He is also really looking forward to seeing Jurassic Park in 3D since he has only seen it at home.

Trying to make some plans for the summer, which hopefully will include a move from this house. DH has started packing up things we don't use on a regular basis.

So I guess you could say that Chaos still Reigns over our house but at a different level than it did last month.

Monster in My House

There is a Monster living in my house. It lives right along side of us and tries so hard to take control whenever it feels like it. I wish there was a rite or ritual to exorcise the Monster from our lives but there isn't. The VA has tried but I think it makes the Monster worse at times instead of better.

There is no warning to when the Monster decides to come out, we have no control. The Monster gets his mind on something and like a rabid dog will not let it go. I wish and pray I could make the Monster disappear but I don't know how. Love and patience doesn't seem to help as much as we would like it to.

The Monster has a name but we only refer to it by letters...PTSD. This Monster has changed our lives forever. The kids handle it really well, they refer to the Monster as "Episodes" more than anything else.

The medications from the VA only help part of the time. The Monster makes my DH believe he is unworthy of additional benefits he could get. He can't work anymore but he wants to do something, what he has no clue.

The problem is the Monster is living in my Love and to get rid of the Monster I would need to get rid of my Love.

Week in Review

What a crazy week we have had here at my house.

Last Sunday we started with an early morning Girl Scout Cookie Booth Sale at a local Goodwill. The sales were pretty bad but the store was busy. DD was slightly down and decided the Goodwill was not a great spot to begin with.

Monday we were at a local Credit Union and DD and fellow Girl Scout did a great job on sales. The sun was shinning but cold.

Tuesday we took the day off from cookies but Mom and I went to the fabric store. Then we had Girl Scouts. Finally, I wrapped up the day with taking DH to the VA for an over night sleep study.

Wednesday morning came way too early and by 5:45am I had picked DH back up and headed for home. The dogs were really glad to see him. Picked up Girl Scout Cookies in the afternoon for our booth sale that same evening. The girls did great even in the rain.

Thursday we had another Cookie Booth on the other side of town.

Friday we had a late morning sale and while it was slow we enjoyed ourselves.

Friday my brother and his family came to say good bye to mom.

Yesterday morning my uncle came and picked up mom for the Portland airport. I think the kids in NM were happy to see G'ma. Mom called last night and they sure sounded happy.

Working on homework to finish my class for this term and enjoying some piece and quiet.

Caregiver Conference Legal Issues

After we had lunch at the Conference a lawyer was ready for his segments of the Conference. He discussed Estate Planning and Medicaid Planning for Eligibility. I never would have imagined you could plan for Medicaid but I guess you can and people actually pay lawyers to help them set it up.

Estate Planning

Keep in mind and Estate is everything you own. Planning for what happens after you are gone helps to protect your assets, provide for your family, and charitable goals. Sounds pretty simple.

Three Documents Everyone Needs to Have:

• Durable Power of Attorney (POA)
• Healthcare Directive/Living Will
• Will or Revocable Living Trust

Most of us in the military world know what a Durable POA is and/or we already have one for our spouses, but does our spouse have one for you?

Healthcare Directive/Living Will is your personal moral statement about your end of life choices. Life support and pulling the plug is never what any of us want to have to consider but it can be the cold hard reality of life. You need to ask yourself if you want to be kept alive indefinitely on life support or only for a period of time?

A Will is basically a statement of where you want your property to go. A Revocable Living Trust is a legal document which helps to avoid probate and can eliminate some of the tax burden that comes with inheirtance.

It is in your best interest to have your documents witnessed and notarized. With witnesses you will need to have a Self Proving Affidavit, a statement which declares they witnessed your signature on your document. The Self Proving Affidavit helps so your witnesses will not need to be tracked down at a later date and time.

Community Property Agreement is essentially a contract between spouses stating that if one passes first all property reverts to the surviving spouse. This contract will also mean no probate.

Before you begin you will need to inventory your assets in a general manner, inventory your liabilities, list your family members, and finally what you want to accomplish with your documents. The interesting part mentioned is that when constructing your Will and leaving possessions to family/friends you do not have to list everything and who they will go to in the Will, it can be stated to 'see attached document' and that attachment can be changed without changing the whole Will. He was asked if you can disinherit your family, of course you can.

Medicaid Planning

This was a lot of information and there was no hand out but simply put there is a way to protect assets for your family and still receive medicaid benefits for nursing home/skilled nursing care towards end of life. Unfortunately if you own property you will need to plan with about 5 years before you will need to care if you can.

Another thing to check out is Purple Cross Plan, which is like a savings account for burial expenses and is exempt from your medicaid 5 year look back period.

There are lawyers that specialize in this type of law and it is advisable when there is a life changing illness which will require long term specialized care.

Caregiver Conference Part 2

As a continuation of the Caregiver Conference the next presenter was Kyle Mamiya, Speech Pathology Seattle VA Medical Center.

Now honestly my first thought was how would a Speech Pathologist help in the Caregiving process? Boy I was really surprised and so happy he provided a handout of his presentation.

Strategies to Improve Performance on Tasks Requiring Memory, Attention and Problem Solving Skills

Topics Covered:

• Problems with cognition and effects on lifestyle
• The role of the speech pathologist in cognitive rehabilitation
• Information about views on cognitive rehabilitation
• Some approaches to addressing various cognitive difficulties
• Some strategies to use or encourage in different settings

Problems with Cognition

1. Caused by many reasons
2. Affect attention, memory, problem solving, communication, behavior, moods
3. May affect habits, work, interaction, care for self, fully engage in some aspects of life
4. Functioning Tasks, appointments to-do list, forgetfulness, control of emotions

Speech Pathologist

1. Patient Care Team
2. Assess and analysis of cognitive skills
3. Systematic, functionally-oriented therapy
1. Structured learning
2. Focus on Restorative and Compensatory Treatments
3. Include Caregiver/Family

Things to Consider

1. Identify specific goals or tasks
1. Use Caregiver/Family to help set realistic goals
2. Provide errorless learning opportunities
1. Clear expectations
3. Practice strategies
1. Provide feedback and tools for performance
4. Select meaningful activities

Speech Pathologist will work in the clinic face to face and in the community living centers as well as via telehealth, e-mail, and telephone.

Speech Pathologist will work to improve attention through different training methods, exercises, and repetition. Goals to improve focus, reduce distractions, staying organized or on schedule, get enough rest to help with the cognitive abilities, learn to break down tasks into several smaller, manageable tasks, as well as NOT multi-tasking.

Things to try

• Notepad and pen with you at all times
• Dry erase board for the house
• Routines and a schedule/calendar
• Place to always place your things (purse, wallet, keys, phone)
• Use lists everywhere necessary
• Electronic devices to assist

There are many other ways to work to help with cognitive abilities. The presentation itself was 27 slides long.

Another concept talked about was to NOT rely on the memory itself but do rely on the tools available to aid with recall of events. The tools are the best aides we can supply our Veterans with so they can gain some self confidence.

Recall Tools

• Simplify/reduce information
• Review information in different forms
• Ask questions, rephrase information, link to something personal to improve the focus/memory
• Mnemonics
• Visual imagery
• Voice recorders
• Planners
• Electronic devices
• E-mail, alarms, voice mail

I think one of the best things I discovered is that Speech Pathology can help with the Cognitive Issues many of our TBI/PTSD Veterans are facing on a regular basis. They can prescribe electronic devices if you have not been able to attain them in other ways. Another great discovery was about telehealth. The Speech Therapy has been able to utilize Skype to help patients living further from the VA. It was rather cool to sit in this 91 year old building and talk about the latest technology to assist our Veterans.

Caregiver Conference

Yesterday I had the opportunity to attend a Caregiver Conference through VA Puget Sound Health Care System at American Lake VAMC.

First was a Doctor from the Deployment & Combat Health Division, Dr. Stephen Hunt. He talked about the role of the Caregiver. He considers Caregiving, the most meaningful and important act, since it is a natural act for many the world over. Parenting is Caregiving.

Dr. Hunt gave us questions to consider about Caregiving:

• What does being a Caregiver mean to you?
• How have you learned about Caregiving?
• What was it like, being a Caregiver?
• What helped the most?

The answers are not surprising but I will not share those answers but there are definitely worth thinking about.

Dr. Hunt mentioned how attitude and support are key elements in Caregiving and that sometimes the Caregiver has to take the same approach with the same values as our service members used during their time in service. This made a lot of sense. There are times my DH responds better when I use a more military approach with him. He also talked about how the cost of service is family wide and support is not JUST about the Veteran.

Caregivers have a dedication to support one another. This creates new bonds but can also create Caregiver fatigue so the Caregiver needs to take advantage of any resource available to them.

The need for self care is so important for Caregiving and will create a satisfaction which is the cornerstone of successful Caregiving. The key elements here are personal care (more important than medical or clinical care), social support for the family, and to identify barriers of self care.

Dr. Hunt considers self care to be:

• self nurturing
• personal life
• healing activities - hobbies
• balanced life
• goals
• respite care

When the audience laughed he commented that while we laugh we should still consider all of the above at different times. He highly recommends Yoga for relaxation. He has worked with local (Seattle area) Yoga studios to help combat veterans and ended up with a total of 42 studios willing to donate time to assist returning combat veterans.

He concluded with reminding us all to  know yourself, value yourself, care for yourself.

Do not deny the difficulties of your work.

Cast loving eye on yourself and your needs the same as we do for our loved ones. This is about our lives.

Crap We Go Through

Have you ever considered all the crap we go through on a regular basis?

We can't remember events or circumstances or we just block it all out.

Today I managed to upset someone I don't even know by offering my KNOWLEDGE on a subject I have become quite familiar with. WTH?! Why do people do that to each other. I am the first to admit that I don't know everything and there are times I am not sure I know much of anything but this was just a little over the top especially when I had been specifically to answer questions on this topic.

The topic in question is the issue of competency through the VA.

We are at Day 137 of the competency claim with the VA. I have used the last 4 months to research and know as much as possible about competency, what the VA considers for incompetency, what would have been the key trigger to begin this process, and what the steps are to complete this ordeal.

I initially made the necessary phone calls to the VA and the Federal Fiduciary Office to find out processes and information. I think did countless HOURS of research and saved a TON of documents to use as reference. I have made it my mission to understand the process so I can explain it to my husband in a way he will understand. It is not that he is incapable of understanding but over the last 5-6 years there has been so many changes in his cognitive abilities I cannot overload his brain with too much information.

I do not normally boast about my abilities but I will say that I can research anything and I am relentless. If I want to know something I will try over and over again to find the answers. I have been VERY successful in my research in over the years.

I am a research NERD and I am perfectly ok with it. My love for research probably started with an old Spencer Tracy, Katherine Hepburn film Desk Set. Spencer Tracy's character brings a computer into a TV Network's research department.

I guess what I am trying to say is that we all have struggles. Some of us rise above those struggles to help ourselves and those around us. Some want to continue to help strangers with the multitudes of useless knowledge we stick in our brains.

So while there are some events or circumstances I cannot remember for the life of me, if I tell you I RESEARCHED it, then you have be assured that I actually KNOW what I am talking about. When I tell you I am going through this carp RIGHT NOW, I am.

If you truly want my help, it is yours but do not get mad at me when you do not like the results.

Good News for a Change

Actually got some good news for a change today compliments of the VA eBenefits website. They have actually moved on my husband competency claim and it is awaiting approval on the decision. After 133 days and weekly phone calls to the VA Call Center. We have no idea which way they are leaning but at least this chapter will be finished within the next 30 days.

The other day DH was trying to help with my computer since Firefox upgraded to 18 and is very slow. He wanted to take it back a bit and see if that would help. Unfortunately we lost all my bookmarks that I have saved for the last few years. On the positive side I had managed to save some in a Word Document when my Dear Friend lost all of her bookmarks, so not a complete loss. I have also shared enough links that others have been able to set me up.

Kind of crazy the things we forget to back up or to keep a paper copy. I think I have learned my lesson and will be saving some sites to paper and portable hard drive.

My mom heads back to New Mexico in March and we will be starting our Girl Scout Cookie Booths. Busy times coming up soon.

The Joys of the VA

There are times when I truly despise the VA and everything we tend to go through to get back to square 1.

Today we had a VA appointment for OT, have to get shower grab bars so DH doesn't fall anymore. This appointment was really productive and the Therapist was very helpful. She submitted everything so we could go to travel and get paid for this visit. Travel pay, what a joke that has turned out to be lately.

At the end of this appointment I got the return call from the VA Call Center to hopefully answer my questions in regards to the competency claim and if there is any progress. Another joke compliments of the Department of Veterans Affairs. They finally determined that they could report nothing new and I/We should have already been contacted in regards to the inquiry send to the Regional Office on January 10th. So the nice man on the phone put in another inquiry and told me if I do not get a call from the Regional Office within 10 business days I needs to call back and let them know so they can investigate further.

We then went over to Bldg. 16, which houses the Veteran Service Organizations Officers, there is nothing for them to help us with since the claim has already begun and we should have gotten VSO assistance in October. Sorry we didn't see the need for assistance since according to the VA due process is 60 days for this type of claim...we are on Day 126 and counting.

Well this was rather disappointing but we then went over to Release of Information and obtained a copy of DH Medical Records for the last 20 months at the VA. I was surprised, it was only 251 pages, but when you can almost never get in to see the doctor or they don't take you seriously, what would you expect.

DH tried to get a Dental appointment and was told the soonest appointment was in May. LOL I probably shouldn't laugh but how can I not, the OT appoint was booked in December and the Sleep Study, scheduled for March 5th, was also booked in December.

Love My Life

I have to say that I love my crazy life. There are days there is so much going on I don't even know where to begin. The last few days have been like that.

I have finished one homework assignment and submitted it for grading and started working on the next assignment. This term is over at the end of March and then onto the next term. I am currently working on a 25-30 slide Power Point for my class and all I can think of is WOW, that's a lot of slides. At least I started a slide outline and hopefully that will help.

The kids are doing great with their own schooling and my DS is almost finished with 2 subjects for the year. DD on the other hand is not putting her best effort forward. We are working on some improvements.

We have reached 120 days without any information from the VA so yesterday DH sent another letter to them with the hopes they will finally take him seriously.

My mom is still visiting and she is just about to graduate with her AA in Accounting. Very happy for her and glad we can be finished with school for a bit.

I need to remember to pull out my blog organizer so I can remember what it was I was going to be posting about over the next few weeks.

On the positive side I think we actually have a great med routine down with DH. The last few days he has actually woken up early and gotten up. He is awake more during the day as well. What an improvement from where we were a few weeks ago.

I think I need to pick one day of the week to post about my #1000Gifts. I guess I need to actually plan.

How can you not love a busy life!

Friday

Here we are we made it to another Friday, week 3 of 2013.

So far I have saved $6 this year using this thought process:

52 Week Money Challenge

I thought this was a great idea and certainly worth a try. The kids are finally feeling better and I really think that G'ma is on the mend as well but she is still coughing.

DH is feeling crappy today and congested, which is way too much fun.

I have been sneezing but I am sure I will be fine in a couple of days.

I finished another pair of socks and started a new pair. This week has been pretty boring but it did snow on Tuesday this week, unfortunately the snow did not stick around for very long. The kids were really bummed out but it was not like they would get a day off for snow.

DD gave us all a good laugh with her history the other day. She read it to be "A chicken in every pot and a car in every garbage" , I thought DS was going to fall off his chair at that one. I am not sure if these things just happen or if she is trying to make us all laugh at her. She is such a character though.

We have finished this week off with a more than normal number of calls to the VA. Some were about the competency claim and others were for appointments. We are at Day 101 of this claim. Their paperwork gives a quicker time frame but this is a government agency and I am not sure which planet they are getting their timing from.

I need to update my 101 in 1001 List since I have started a couple of tasks and I have completed 1 Random Act of Kindness.

T.G.I.F. or Thank Goodness It's Friday

What a crazy week we have had with the kids being sick and now G'ma is sick. DD is on the mend though since she has started to drive me nuts with some of her antics. DS has been better for a couple of days but still a little stuffed up. Dad and I have started to feel like crud.

I would say I am happy tomorrow is Saturday, but I don't like Saturday's anymore. It was a Saturday that my Sister was killed. I will take 2 Friday's or 2 Sunday's but not any Saturday's. Might seem silly but Saturday's give me anxiety.

Kids started back to school on Wednesday. Sick kids and school does not result in a lot getting accomplished but thankfully they don't HAVE to take a whole day off.

DH is having some struggles with some of his medications again. This time instead of sleeping 20 hours a day he is not sleeping as many hours at night. Almost like reversing his schedule. He is getting a new MH Provider at the VA, our 3rd in 18 months, which always causes some concern since they want to make too many med adjustments at the same time.

The VA brings up another subject...military service. Keeping all service records together the best I can now and that always needed DD214. Crazy how important that one piece of paper is in the Military and Veteran Community. I just wish sometimes that it reflected ALL deployment activities that the service member went through and not just what the Unit was assigned to do. My DH spent the majority of his deployment with an entire different Unit from a different State but there was no final or official transfer so there is no paper trail for the additional duties or assignments he endured while deployed.

The best thing I can say about our journey is that we are continuing to take it together, we haven't given up on each other, trust me there are times when it has come close but we just keep trying, TOGETHER!!

Joydare Challenge for today: An old gift, a new gift, a blue gift
This took me a bit to think about but here it is:

• Old Gift - my huge yarn stash...like Christmas when I dig through it
• New Gift - the bright sock yarn I got for Christmas
• Blue Gift - the new denim bag I got for Christmas

3 / 365

Today I had a visit from the VA Mental Health Nurse.

Our visit was good and we talked about some of the changes that have taken place and some changes within the scope of the VA Visiting Nurse part of the program.

Had to take Mom to the doctor, she has been sick thanks to the kids. Fortunately it is a cold with cough and nothing more serious. Speaking of illness, if messiness is any indication of feeling better than my DD is really on the mend. She is still stuffed and coughing up she has been a busy child today.

I have accepted the Joydare Challenge to document 1000 Gifts or Blessings from God. I am rather enjoying keeping track of some of the little things I would normally overlook. So here is a brief look at the gifts so far this year.

• 1/1/2013     3 Gifts Heard - hubby making dinner, the kids laughing, mom laughing again

•  1/2/2013    Reading - The Fiery Cross, D. Gabaldon  Making - Socks   Seeing - Kids getting better

• 1/3/2013     Overheard - kids laughing with dad, dad having fun, a lady at Costco reading a devotion in the book aisle  

While this may not seem like much to some people it really has made a difference to me.

Catching Up With Life

I really hate when life takes over and all the best laid plans end up kicked to the curb. Sure seems what has happened to our family in 2012.

So much has happened to us all since that dreadful phone call on June 16th but it also seems like nothing really mattered since then. But life goes on, as my Dear Sister, Debbie, was fond of saying and that is how I have to live the rest of my life. I don't have to get everything right I just have to keep trying.

So to play some catch up with our life, DS turned 14 in July, so hard to believe he is 14 and taller than I am (not really that hard to do) and really reaching for his dad (6'). We never went camping this summer like we had planned to do but DD was able to take part in 3 different Girl Scout Camps including horseback riding and horsemanship skills. She had a wonderful time. One camp was iCamp...internet without the internet. Sadly she got sick and ended up coming home Saturday night instead of Sunday Afternoon.

September rolled around and we began our second year of schooling at home using WAVA. I love how great the kids are feeling about school and that even sick they never miss a day.

My mom is now a part-time Albuquerque resident to help my brother-in-law with the kids. She really enjoys it there but we miss her. One of her favorite things in NM is my nephew's football games. My sister used to take 1500+ pictures at every game, she was the team mom, mom has not gotten to the point of taking that many pictures but we have seen many pictures of a #53 Jersey which she claims is my nephew.

In October there was Debbie's birthday and her son had a football game on her birthday. Those kids played their hearts out and they didn't even know. Later that same month we had my birthday, I had no desire to celebrate, it just didn't seem right.

In November my mom came to visit and was able to be here for my other niece's 16th birthday. Mom was back in NM for Thanksgiving and had a nice time with BIL's family. We had a quiet Thanksgiving here with just the 4 of us and our dogs.

December came and with it was the opportunity to bury Debbie's remains next to her Dad in Tacoma, WA. BIL, mom and kids came up on December 5th. My little niece stayed the whole visit with us and I had a great time with her, we really bonded in June. On December 8th we had a graveside service that was small but gave some of the final closure we could all us. On the 10th BIL and kids went home to NM and mom stayed to have Christmas in WA and be able to see her doctors.

Update on our VA claims:
In October DH's final VA claim came through with 100% for PTSD but the VA is proposing to have him declared incompetent for VA Purposes, meaning he would not have ultimate control over his VA benefits. We are now on day 78 of the competency claim and so far there is nothing to report, good or bad. They say that no news is good news but only time will tell.

On the brighter side of life I have decided I needed to be doing something to I started knitting again. It feels so good to lose myself in some yarn and a pattern. So far I have made several scarves and I am on my 4th pair of socks in 8 weeks time. I have a few other projects I would like to tackle soon as well as some earrings I need to make.

So there is a quick catch up on our life for the last 6 months or so.

The Best of 2012

Hard to imagine a best moment of 2012 when there is the shadow of sad moments overhead, but I will give it a try:

The kids - they are doing fabulous schooling at home and have made great strides. The kids make me laugh and smile even when I have no desire to do either. In June when I was in New Mexico, DD asked me if I had a tan yet...how can you not laugh at that. I told her I wasn't sure but I would probably come home with more freckles, she said that would work since I have so many it will look like a tan. Can't really argue with 11 year old logic.

We were able to get a new to us car this year, which makes us all happy.

While we had to put Hailey, our beagle down, we have added 2 dachshunds to the family. What a blessing the dogs have been for all of us.

My oldest nephew graduated from High School...we are all so proud of the man he is becoming.

I did get to take my very first plane trip when I went to New Mexico after my sister passed. Hated the circumstances but loved flying. Spent a good/horrible week in New Mexico. I was glad to be there to help my mom, brother-in-law, and my niece and nephew. Horrible because of the circumstances. I can honestly say that while I have done more than my fair share of crying that week, I also was able to laugh and enjoy those around me.

Another positive would be the bond I have developed with my youngest niece. Even so far away we have a bond. When they were visiting in December she spent the week with us and we had fun. She was only 6 when mommy went to Heaven.

The Summer was kind of bad since I lost any desire to really do anything at all, but thank goodness for September and school starting for the kids. I was able to get motivated and out of the pity party.

The fall also brought DH's VA disability rating to 100% total and permanent, what a blessing that is for us.

Thanksgiving was quiet and then it was time for the family visit and my sister's burial. She was buried in Tacoma with her dad, which is what she would have wanted. Rough day but we have survived. While the kids were visiting we kept them busy and what a chore that can be sometimes.

Mom decided to spend Christmas in Washington instead of New Mexico this year. She is staying with us and the kids enjoy having Grandma here. Christmas was a lot of fun but we are all glad it is over.

As we closed out 2012 the kids are sick with congestion, fever, and aches. So far today is not looking much better.

And suddenly

you know. It is

time to start

something New and

trust the Magic of

Beginnings

Meister Eckhart

Happy New Year!!